February 20, 2008
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton ." The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away..
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don 't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!"
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for
viruses of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes
little purple hearts to appear on screen.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and
The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then
e-mails everyone about what it did
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files
Last but not least
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy...then discards it through windows..
a little boy decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.
First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
The teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie.
The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they wouldn't let me and then they threw rocks at me."
The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."